A Day At A Time

Over the last few weeks I’ve struggled to find the words whenever I sit down to write, because none could adequately sum up how I feel about what the world is going through right now.  But I’ve realised there are 3 words that completely sum it up:      

Nothing feels right!

• Watching a family movie with my 10 year old

Her observation about a lovely party scene is now "but they're not 2m apart"

•  Hearing about local job vacancies suitable for my 19 year old

The benefits (meeting people, supporting the community, independence) are also risks (meeting people, interacting with the community, leaving the house)

•  Letting my girls play on the trampoline

I love that they’re playing together, outdoors, without electronics BUT I’m very aware that if one of them gets hurt we’d have to go to the hospital

• Taking the dog for a walk

Visiting the open space near our house so she can run around means she’ll socialise with other dogs and she hasn’t quite got the hang of social distancing

•  Having groceries delivered

We can play our part in supporting local businesses and follow the 'stay home' guidance BUT what if I’m taking a delivery slot from someone else whose need to stay at home is greater

 Going to the shops, cooking a meal, watching TV, … the list goes on and everything I do & can do prompts a flipside thought which ultimately leaves me with the same three words.  Nothing feels right!

The world as we know it has changed and it may never be quite the same again.   BUT out of the tragedy that’s unfolding, there are lots of small signs that humanity will triumph.  Hundreds of small acts of kindness, people pulling together to help their communities, previously unsung heroes finally being recognised for the extraordinary commitment they demonstrate every single day.  

Like most people, I’m just hoping to get through this with my health and sanity intact and have decided that my best option is to take it a day at a time (and to hide a stash of chocolate from my children).  If I feel like drinking, I’ll drink.  If I feel like singing, I’ll sing.  And if I feel like crying, I will (and have).  I’m not exercising as much as usual, eating more chocolate than normal and feeling far less guilty than I might.  

I guess when nothing feels right, you just have to do what feels right for now.