Teacher Training?

I love all my children equally and would argue (and quite often do) that I don’t have a favourite. Conversely, there are times when one stands head and shoulders above the others and commands my attention for all the wrong reasons. Today my 19 year old is occupying that top spot, as he sits next to me singing some made-up nonsense then leaning on me to try and cause maximum annoyance. He claims it’s because he’s doing me a favour by transferring photos from a recent trip onto my phone; I’m not showing a proper level of appreciation. Surely, by 19, a simple thank you should suffice?

So I’ve been thinking about favouritism. When he was little I’d drop my son at nursery every day on my way to work and the lovely assistant who was in charge of his class would take him from me and give him a huge hug. At the end of the day as I rushed in, frazzled from the journey and feeling guilty for having abandoned him to another’s care, the same lady would smile kindly at me and give me all the little details about his day - what he’d eaten and how much, who he’d played with, how long he’d spent creating his new crayon masterpiece. The attention she seemed to lavish on my son and, at collection time, on me made me truly feel like he was her favourite charge. As he grew and went to school I had a similar experience with his teachers and teaching assistants - if there was a preferred child in the class I would have guessed it was my son. When my daughters came along I had very similar experiences with their nurseries (there have been a few!) and schools (ditto). In fact, my youngest daughter came home from school this week and told me she thinks she’s her teachers’ favourite (and her headmasters’ too). Stepping back and trying to see my children through their teachers’ eyes, I think they’re probably a nice addition to a class; they’re polite and kind, generally helpful and easy to like. But I’m a realist too and know they have their moments; frustration or tiredness can make them distracted or grumpy, even at school. I know my youngest and eldest have the same tendency to drift off into their own imaginations at times and can be a bit slow to complete tasks, while both my middle daughters have my husband’s (sometimes inappropriate) comic talent. So are my children really their teachers’ favourites?

Having spent quite a lot of time around teachers over the years - at drop-offs, pick-ups, school plays and parents evenings - I’ve had plenty of opportunities to observe their interaction with pupils and parents. What I’ve realised is that, with a few carefully chosen words and a smile, they are able to make the child or parent in front of them feel like the most important person in the school. I have many friends in the teaching profession and am always full of admiration for their ability to listen with eternal patience to complaints or concerns and always seem to have an appropriate response. What an incredible skill, to make each child feel so important, so cared for that they believe they’re the teachers’ favourite. It was once suggested that I should consider teaching as a career but, given that I sometimes struggle with my own four, it’s probably a good thing I didn’t follow that path. Although, thinking about it, maybe teacher training is exactly what I need to become the parent my son wants me to be!