October 10th was World Mental Health Day and this time 19 years ago I'd been a parent for one month. Not only had I been physically unready for my son's arrival (no nappies, clothes or pram), I was mentally unprepared. I thought life could continue as normal, so despite the disrupted nights and relentless feeding, changing and laundry at home I pushed myself to take him out every day. There's a limit to the brain and body's endurance though, and I was beginning to suffer from a lack of sleep. I remember putting him down for a mid-morning nap one day and slumping onto the sofa only to be shocked awake a few hours later by his angry screams through the baby monitor. I leapt up and ran to comfort him, cursing myself for falling asleep. I cooed and cuddled for the rest of the day, but each time I put him into his bassinet I could feel him watching, judging me. I literally felt as if his eyes were boring into me when I was in the room so, as my paranoia persisted, over the next few days I actively avoided being in the same room as him. My son and I were lucky; I mentioned how I was feeling to my husband who realised how desperately I needed sleep and within a day or two I was back to being a normal, besotted mum.

Several years later we'd moved into a new house and one of our neighbours was expecting her second child. Each morning as I saw her on my way to work I'd say hi and we'd discuss how much longer she had to go. Then she had her baby and all the neighbours waited eagerly to welcome the new addition. A week after the baby was born I left the house to go to work, only to see our narrow street full of cars - two police cars and an ambulance were parked outside her house. By the time I got home that evening the news had filtered round the close that our neighbour had been in her bedroom with her baby and child, chatting to her mum, when she calmly walked over to the window, opened it and tried to throw her newborn out. Fortunately her mum had intervened in time and everyone was fine but...

As mums we worry first and foremost about our children, pets tend to come next followed by spouses, and somewhere after dinner, laundry and arguments over TV viewing choices we remember to take care of ourselves. Post-natal depression is dangerous, but it's just the start because as our children become toddlers, tweens, teens and adults, the worries change but don't stop. And unless we can talk openly, honestly and safely about how we feel, the burden can become too great for us to carry.

Days like yesterday are important because they remind us to talk, to listen and to care.